There are no planets in retrograde!
Planetary Retrograde Horoscope
Well, Well, Well, Look What The Cosmic Cat Dragged In!
Are you feeling the Aquarian overload yet? Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Pluto are all hanging out in the land of the water bearer like it's some sort of cosmic Star Trek convention. #AquariusParty
Mercury in Aquarius is making everyone's brain feel like they've just downloaded the entire Wikipedia database. So, while you're spouting off quantum physics theories to your cat, remember: he might be the only one who finds it as fascinating as you do. #BrainyIsTheNewSexy
Venus in Aquarius has got our love lives looking more like an episode of Black Mirror than The Bachelor. It's all about unconventional attractions right now. Got a crush on that barista who knows how to make a perfect almond milk flat white? Go for it! #LoveIsLove
With Mars also in Aquarius, it's like we're all suddenly into LARPing. I mean, who doesn't want to pretend they're a medieval warrior on a Tuesday afternoon? Just remember the golden rule: It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye (or their dignity). #LARPing4Life
And then there's Pluto, making us all want to transform society one recycled coffee cup at a time. Yes, you can change the world, but maybe start with cleaning your room first? #SmallStepsBigChanges
But it's not all Aquarius all the time. Jupiter is kicking back in Taurus like a cosmic Buddha, reminding us to slow down and enjoy the material world. Buy that fancy cheese. You deserve it. #TreatYoSelf
Meanwhile, Saturn in Pisces is like your high school English teacher making you read Moby Dick for the fifth time. Yes, it's deep. Yes, it's meaningful. But can't we just watch the movie instead? #DeepSeaSaturn
And let's not forget Uranus in Taurus, shaking things up like a bull in a china shop. Hold onto your hats (and your fine china), folks! #BullInTheCosmicShop
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