There is currently only one planet in retrograde:
Today's Universal Horoscope! 🌌
Hello, intergalactic beings! It's your favorite celestial comedian and nerd-guru here, with your planetary retrograde scoop. Let's dive into the cosmic soup, shall we?
Starting off with speedy Mercury in fiery Aries. Picture The Flash running a marathon while accidentally setting his shoes on fire. Yep, that's us trying to communicate right now. #MercuryInAries #Hotfoot 🔥
Meanwhile, Venus is lounging in dreamy Pisces. Love is in the air... or it might just be the smell of your incense burning. Either way, it's time to open your heart chakra and embrace the cosmic fuzzies. #VenusInPisces #LoveIsInTheStars 💞
Mars is also hanging out in Pisces, so our collective energy is more 'zen master' than 'zombie apocalypse'. If you find yourself wanting to karate chop a bonsai tree, remember: anger management classes are cheaper than a new bonsai. #MarsInPisces #BonsaiKarate 🌳
Jupiter is all settled in Taurus. This big boy is all about the Benjamins... I mean, the cosmic abundance. So channel your inner Oprah and start manifesting like it's 1999. #JupiterInTaurus #ManifestationStation 💰
Saturn is chilling with Neptune in Pisces. Imagine Yoda and Dumbledore having a tea ceremony. That's the vibe. Remember folks, wisdom doesn't always come with age, but it sure helps when you're trying to understand the universe. #SaturnInPisces #NeptuneInPisces #TeaTimeWithYoda 🍵
Uranus is in Taurus and it's shaking things up. Expect the unexpected. Like a surprise guacamole at your favorite taco place or finding out that your cat can play the piano. #UranusInTaurus #SurpriseGuacamole 🥑
Lastly, Pluto is in Aquarius, and it's reminding us that change is the only constant in the universe... other than the fact that Pluto will always be a planet in my book. Take that, Neil deGrasse Tyson! #PlutoInAquarius #Pl
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