There is currently only one planet in retrograde:
Greetings, Earthlings!
Unfurl your neck scarves and lace up those Birkenstocks because the planetary disco up there is getting retrograde-licious! The celestial shuffle is doing a cosmic conga line across your natal chart like a flock of geese on roller skates. Buckle up, buttercups, it's going to be a spacey ride!
The cosmic courier, Mercury, is in Aries, making your communication as sharp as a tack and twice as fast! You might find yourself talking like you're in a rap-battle with Eminem, or possibly just talking to your toaster. Either way, remember to breathe - oxygen keeps the brain cells happy!
Venus is chilling out in Pisces, and boy does love feel like swimming through a romantic lagoon of marshmallows right now! If you start thinking that your cat is your soulmate, don't panic - it's just the Venus effect. Keep the purr-love to a minimum.
Mars, our crimson warrior planet, is also hanging out in Pisces. You may feel like you're ready to take on the Galactic Empire, bare-handed! But remember, even Jedi knights need a good nap. Don't let the Martian energy turn you into a caffeine-fueled goblin.
Jupiter is lounging in Taurus, bringing loads of luck and expansion. It's time to think big! Like, "I'm going to build a life-sized Lego replica of the Starship Enterprise" big. Just remember - ambition is great, but don't overdo it and accidentally create a black hole in your living room.
Saturn, our karmic taskmaster, is in Pisces, so lessons are coming your way faster than light-speed! Embrace them, learn from them, and remember - even Spock had bad days.
Uranus, the cosmic rebel, is in Taurus, so expect some unexpected changes. You might wake up one morning and decide to dye your hair green or invent a new type of renewable energy. Go with the flow, but maybe consult a professional before you start messing with nuclear fusion.
Neptune, the dreamy planet, is also in Pisces, so your imagination is on overdrive right now. It's great to dream big,
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