"Fascinating, Pisces: Your Emotional Nebula Prepares for a Cosmic Giggle as Planetary Alignments Perform a Vulcan Mind Meld"
The next Pisces will start in 319 days, at Monday, 19 February, 2024
The Moon moves to Pisces in 10 days, at Sunday, 16 April, 2023
Mercury moves to Pisces in 324 days, at Saturday, 24 February, 2024
Venus moves to Pisces in 341 days, at Tuesday, 12 March, 2024
Mars moves to Pisces in 352 days, at Saturday, 23 March, 2024
Saturn is currently in Pisces
Neptune is currently in Pisces
The Full moon is currently 14.9 days old. The next new moon is at 4:15:48, 20 Apr 2023. The next full moon is at 17:36:47, 5 May 2023.
Greetings, oh mystical Pisces! As Arthur Dent once famously said, "This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays." Well, my fishy friends, today is indeed Thursday (or it might not be, but let's not get bogged down in detail). Now, let's dive into the cosmic seas of your horoscope!
Saturn has sauntered into Pisces like a vogon trying to compose poetry - a bit clumsy and not entirely welcome, but hey, there it is! This planetary presence is here to teach you some patience, which we all know is about as exciting as waiting for a triple-breasted whore from Eroticon VI. But fear not, for this too shall pass. Try to embrace the lessons of Saturn by taking up something tedious like knitting or counting the hairs on your left leg.
Neptune, your ruling planet, is also currently swimming through Pisces, much like a confused sperm whale plummeting to an unfortunate fate. You'll find your intuition heightened, but don't panic! Instead, grab your trusty towel and wrap it around your noggin to keep those psychic vibes in check. Embrace the creativity that Neptune brings, and maybe try your hand at creating a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster or two. Just remember, the effects may be similar to having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.
As for the moon, it's currently 14.9 days old, which is pretty irrelevant, but hey, we're all about the details here! With a full-ish moon looming, emotions will be riding high. If you're feeling overwhelmed, just take a deep breath, think of your happy place (like a lovely beach on Santraginus V), and remember that, in the grand scheme of things, it's just a pale blue dot in the cosmic void.
So there you have it, Pisces! Embrace your inner Arthur Dent and remember, no matter how surreal or baffling the universe may be, don't panic! And always know where your towel is.
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