Scorpio Report

"Scorpios, prepare for interstellar chaos! Mars is in retrograde, or as I like to call it, doing the cosmic cha-cha! Expect existential contemplation, Klingon-like determination, and a sudden interest in quantum physics. No, you're not becoming a Vulcan, just a very curious Scorpion!"

The next Scorpio will start in 326 days, at Wednesday, 23 October, 2024

The Moon moves to Scorpio in 7 days, at Saturday, 09 December, 2023

Mercury moves to Scorpio in 317 days, at Monday, 14 October, 2024

Venus moves to Scorpio in 3 days, at Tuesday, 05 December, 2023

The Waning Gibbous moon is currently 19.6 days old. The next new moon is at 23:32:07, 12 Dec 2023. The next full moon is at 0:33:43, 27 Dec 2023.

Alright, my dear Scorpios, buckle up because your horoscope is here and it's as out of this world as E.T. himself! With the Waning Gibbous moon being 19.6 days old, much like E.T.'s affinity for Reese's Pieces, you might find yourself reaching for the leftover Halloween candy. But remember, just because Mars is in retrograde doesn't mean your diet has to be too. Let's not use the cosmos as an excuse for devouring that entire bag of fun-sized Snickers, okay? In the spirit of E.T., you may feel drawn to communicate with beings...from other dimensions. Perhaps the neighbor's dog or your sourdough starter. You know, the usual. And just like our extraterrestrial buddy, you might find yourself feeling a little homesick, even if you can't quite put your finger on where home is. But hey, don't worry. Just keep repeating, "E.T. phone home." It might not get you any closer to home but at least it'll confuse the heck out of anyone listening. And finally, remember that scene where E.T. makes the bicycles fly? Yeah, well, no promises that you'll develop the ability to defy gravity but with Mercury in your sign, expect your creativity to soar this week. So, whether that means mastering the art of levitation or just figuring out how to turn your microwave into a popcorn machine, go for it! So, in conclusion, embrace your inner E.T. this week, Scorpios. Reach for the stars, talk to your plants, and if all else fails, just glow like a 1980's Spielberg alien. Hashtags: #CosmicScorpioVibes #ETPhoneHome #AstrologicalAlienAntics #ScorpioStarStuff #WaningGibbousGiggles

#Scorpio

SignToday Is Posting: 02.12.2023 08:12:01 (sco-02-12-2023)